Today guest poster Jacky Tustain shares some ideas on how to clear mind clutter from your life. Just in time for 2010! Enjoy!
Change Your Thinking
The first principle to consider is the famous acronym, KISS, which stands for Keep It Simple (Stupid)! Overload in many people's lives is due to having a very complex and busy lifestyle. It does not have to be that way. By changing your attitude to consider how you can start living simply by removing some of the unnecessary layers you may discover a much easier freer life waiting for you.
By changing the way you think you will help yourself to move forward in a clearer more focussed way. It won't matter if you have a good sort out mentally and physically if you don't change your overall attitude to hoarding or taking on too much as you are likely to start the cycle all over again.
Think about how much calmer and at peace you feel when in an orderly and tidy environment. The sense of serenity you can feel when not surrounded by mess and unfinished work. This is what you need to create in both your mind and physical environment to feel at ease with yourself.
Distinguish Between Needs and Wants
What do you want out of life; success, happiness, love and serenity? People often believe that these states can be achieved through possessions. Many needs are answered through material things however distinguishing between what you truly need and what is just an unnecessary desire is key to simplifying your life. Spending money on 'stuff' may create some inner satisfaction, but after this wears off further ways are sought to give the good feeling again. This turns into a life complicated with an expensive lifestyle, which has to be supported by a heavy workload, stress and unhappiness. Escape is then found through short holidays that fall heavily on our pockets and so repeat the cycle.
When considering your life who do you find yourself comparing yourself with; those that have more than you or those that have less? If it is the former then you probably feel dissatisfied with life a lot of the time and continue to crave more, continually struggling to improve your life.
Try to think about those that have less, yet seem happy enough. Think about what you do have. Think about what is really enough to satisfy your true needs. For example, how many pairs of shoes or trousers can you wear?
This does not mean that you should live the life of a pauper; it is about putting things in perspective. We all have basic needs such as food, warmth, shelter and clothing. We also need love and companionship. We certainly don't truly need three TVs, ten pairs of shoes and three coats. Sounds excessive? According to Mintel (2006) women in the UK own, on average, 14 pairs of shoes each, whilst men own around 6 pairs.
Learn to accept and be grateful for what you have, especially the non material things, for that is where you will find real happiness and serenity.
Learn to Let it Go
The hardest part about decluttering is learning to let go, to give up trying to control everything and to go with the flow of life. Apart from physical stuff we hang onto all sorts of mental baggage worrying about our futures, our children's futures, our investments, global warming, rising crime levels, the list goes on and on.
Why do we worry about so much that we have little or no control over? Is it going to make any difference? Obviously we can make an impact in our own way but if you are already doing this why are you worrying? Worry does not change anything about from potentially leading to ill health.
Do you brood over things that have happened in the past? Maybe someone hurt you emotionally, maybe you did something that you feel or know was wrong. Once again, let it go. If you can make amends for your wrong doing consider doing so. Most importantly practise forgiveness, and that includes forgiving yourself. You are only human and are allowed to make mistakes. Behaviour does not make a person good or bad, it is purely some actions we follow at some point in time. Let it go and move on. Shake off your baggage to a newer, freer you.
Once you accept that the only thing you can control is your own behaviour you are on the way to a more serene and calm life. By accepting 'what is' you will eliminate stress in your life and feel a lot happier. These principles are very simple but achieving them is very hard as it is difficult to let go of old habits.
Clear Your Stuff
As discussed above we can easily end up surrounded by lots of stuff that stifles our whole selves. It weighs down on us, clutters our houses and creates dust. Consider the feeling you get in a large comfortable open, tidy and minimally furnished living room. Compare that to the mood created by an overly busy environment with piles of incomplete work, books, clothes and magazines etc. lying around. The first will probably create an atmosphere of serenity and calm, the second will feel decidedly uncomfortable, dirty and if it is your space will frustrate you with thoughts of incomplete tasks.
So how do we get rid of the stuff we have accumulated over the years or organise what we want to keep? This part of decluttering can be relatively easy if you have mastered the change of attitude as outlined above, although it can be time consuming. To move yourself forward make sure you set yourself a reasonable amount of uninterrupted time, focus on the outcome to keep motivated, make it fun - enlist the help of a good friend (make sure they can be strict with you and stay focussed too).
To make it work you need to ensure you have enough boxes and bags to clear everything out and enough appropriate storage for what you want to keep. Before you start plan your organisation system you want to have at the end of the process, otherwise you will end up with a different, less cluttered mess! You may like to do a room at a time. Work quickly sorting into keep, throw or give away. Set yourself rules such as, if you haven't worn an item of clothing for two years or more they must go.
Reward yourself when you complete the allocated section. Try to avoid getting sidetracked into reading old magazines or reminiscing over photos for example. If something needs attention, such as sorting photos that could not be completed in the timescale jot this down as a separate task for attention later.
Clear Your Time
A fast paced life where everyone is always doing something does not allow any time to relax or clear the head. Constant noise and light from many directions makes silence an alien concept. Creating and staying quiet in mind and body become increasingly difficult and physical stress and strain on the body is increasingly leading to ill health.
There are various things to do to try and declutter this part of your life. How many things do you do that are unnecessary? For example, do you wash your clothes more often than you need to, do you iron almost everything? Are you spending longer at work than you should do, perhaps out of a feeling of guilt because everyone else does it? Do you spend a lot of time arranging holidays for yourself and your family? Do you find yourself always taking on little extras to help other people out?
Think through all aspects of your life that occupy your time, sorting them into keep, bin or give away. For this exercise the keep things are those you must do or intend to do yourself, the 'bin' stuff covers things you know you can stop doing or thinking about and the 'give away' are tasks to delegate. Question yourself about your habits, remember KISS.
Make time for true relaxation, not time in front of the TV, but real quiet time. If you tend to suffer from anxiety or stress consider learning yoga, taking up meditation or just walking or gardening.
To clear our minds is very much about attitude, it will take time but persevere as it is truly worth it.
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Jacky Tustain is a Life Coach based in the UK, specialising in helping people turn their life around through raising confidence and self esteem. |
